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Deion at press conference with misguided Barack Obama look-a-like. (Source: Flickr.com-Mommy2djandtori's photostream)

As a way of capitalizing on his recent wave of publicity, former NFL star Deion “Prime Time” Sanders announced he is launching a new business venture called Prime Time Pinheads Unlimited. The purpose is to give the worst possible advice to clients who are intent upon ruining their lives or who just want to make complete fools of themselves.

Sanders cemented his pinheadedness recently by giving gooberish contract advice to San Francisco 49ers holdout rookie wide receiver Michael Crabtree. He also helped Oklahoma State wide receiver Dez  “Pea-Brain” Bryant get himself suspended by lying about having dinner at Sanders’ Dallas home.

Sanders appeared at a press conference with his newest client, a 15-year-old boy named Darius “Bonehead” McCoy. The youth is apparently getting horrid tips from Sanders as to how to win a Barack Obama look-a-like contest by dressing like a freakin’ clown. McCoy was wearing a jacket that appeared to be made out of remnants from Big Al’s House of Carpet.

Reporters asked Sanders why he felt qualified to give others crappy advice.

“When you think about it, I’ve pretty much always been a chucklehead,” he said. “Remember when I thought I could be a star in both football and baseball? What about that gay do-rag I used to wear? Then there was that little-girlie slap fight I had on the field with Andre Rison. And how about when I dumped champagne on Tim McCarver’s head? I mean, am I a cretin or what?”

Sanders also said there is no limit to the bad advice he can give in the future.

 “There’s so much I could do in my new role,” he said. “I’m sure schools would hire me to speak to the kids about the advantages of joining gangs and having unprotected sex as young as possible. I’m also thinking of becoming a full-time agent. Just give me one year, and I’d have the entire NFL on skid row.”