http://sportspoof.com Mon, 15 Feb 2010 01:34:42 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en [caption id="attachment_321" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="Are those things above my eyes alive, and can they hurt me? (Source: Flicker.com: billypalooza)"][/caption]   For the diehard football fan, this Sunday’s Pro Bowl in Miami fills a pigskin void left by the extra week before the Super Bowl. But for those who are looking for something better ... http://sportspoof.com/top-10-alternatives-to-watching-the-pro-bowl/ [caption id="attachment_309" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="FSU football academic advisor heading to work (Source: Flickr.com: Rice and D)"][/caption] According to a recent report on ESPN’s Outside the Lines, Florida State’s football program resorted to recruiting football players who could only read at an elementary school level, including one poor soul who registered an ... http://sportspoof.com/how-do-you-spell-fsu/ A statement from Tiger Woods…  To all my fans, my friends, my family, and most of all, to all the girls I’ve loved before…  Based on the events of the past couple of weeks, and in large part because my wife now has me sleeping in a pup tent in the backyard, ... http://sportspoof.com/tiger-pulls-out-thats-not-what-she-said/ [caption id="attachment_291" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="Is Otis (second from left) ready to face CC Sabathia? (Source: Sportspoof.com-Indiewench)"][/caption]   Trailing two games to one to the New York Yankees in the 2009 World Series, Philadelphia Phillies manager Charlie Manuel has decided to call on some old friends to ensure his team doesn’t fall further ... http://sportspoof.com/charlie-manuel-to-enlist-help-of-mayberry-friends-in-series/ [caption id="attachment_275" align="alignnone" width="375" caption="Artist's full-scale rendering of Marbury after thawing (Source: Flickr.com-demealiffe)"][/caption]     Disappointed by what he considers to be a dearth of acceptable contract offers, veteran NBA point guard Stephon Marbury will sit out the next 20 years and have himself frozen in a cryogenics lab in the meantime. The 32-year-old ... http://sportspoof.com/marbury-to-sit-out-for-decades-will-undergo-ted-williams-procedure/ [caption id="attachment_270" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="Texas fans channeling the Prince of Darkness (Source: Flickr.com-stegersaurus31)"][/caption]   The Texas Longhorns took advantage of five Oklahoma Sooners turnovers en route to a 16-13 victory in the annual Red River Rivalry. The mistakes were due in large part to the influence of a Lower Power, the Prince of ... http://sportspoof.com/satan-guides-longhorns-to-victory/ [caption id="attachment_262" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="Wooden explaining to Alcindor the extent of his manhood (Source: Flickr.com-McCart42)"][/caption]   Fed up with the lengthening of the modern basketball shorts and the demise of the Afro, legendary college basketball coach John Wooden celebrated his 99th birthday by announcing his return to coaching. Wooden, who last guided  UCLA  in 1975, will replace current ... http://sportspoof.com/john-wooden-announces-comeback-short-shorts-and-afros-to-return/ [caption id="attachment_250" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="Bucknor giving himself an earful (Source: Flickr.com-UMPS CARE Charity)"][/caption]   Embarrassed by his atrocious calls on the bases during the ALDS Game 1 and an equally inept performance calling balls and strikes in Game 2, umpire C.B. Bucknor ejected himself from the third and final game of the ... http://sportspoof.com/distressed-umpire-ejects-self-from-game/ [caption id="attachment_241" align="alignnone" width="315" caption="LaRussa turns to bottle in undated photo (Source: Flickr.com-John Renfro 99)"][/caption]   Disconsolate following his team’s unexpected early exit from the postseason, St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa said he will seek comfort from his old friend, the bottle. “The bottle has always been there for me in my ... http://sportspoof.com/tony-larussa-turns-to-the-bottle/ [caption id="attachment_226" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="Deion at press conference with misguided Barack Obama look-a-like. (Source: Flickr.com-Mommy2djandtori's photostream)"][/caption]   As a way of capitalizing on his recent wave of publicity, former NFL star Deion “Prime Time” Sanders announced he is launching a new business venture called Prime Time Pinheads Unlimited. The purpose is to give the worst ... http://sportspoof.com/deon-sanders-to-become-consultant/