14
12/09
How do you spell FSU?
FSU football academic advisor heading to work (Source: Flickr.com: Rice and D)
So what types of courses do you put a kid in who probably completed his entrance exam using a box of Crayolas? Here are some examples…
Dadgum 101-Taught by Bobby Bowden, the players learn how to talk real good so’s they git a good job when they grajeeate. Those players who can spell their name correctly by the end of the semester will receive a gold star and an extra Oreo before nap time.
Advanced Smack Talk-Players study photos of their upcoming opponents’ mamas in order to develop a full arsenal of smack for the game. Final exams consist of completing the following phrase: Your mama’s so ugly that_________________.
Comparative Literature-Players delve into superhero comic books and analyze them for their literary value. Sample essay questions include, “Who was the badder dude: Superman or Spiderman? Discuss.”
Pigskin Anatomy-Players work in teams to dissect pigs so that the hides can be used to make practice footballs. Any player who states that the ham from the pig will be used to make hamburgers for the training table is excused from taking the final and receives an automatic A.
Honors Alphabet-For the more gifted student-athletes, an in-depth look at the ABC’s is taken. Emphasis is placed on being able to list the letters of the alphabet in alphabetical order, starting at A and ending at Z. Partial credit will be given to players who can’t list the entire alphabet but are able to spell “FSU.”