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Is Otis (second from left) ready to face CC Sabathia? (Source: Sportspoof.com-Indiewench)

Trailing two games to one to the New York Yankees in the 2009 World Series, Philadelphia Phillies manager Charlie Manuel has decided to call on some old friends to ensure his team doesn’t fall further behind.

Manuel, known as “Charlie Mayberry” for his Southern drawl and homespun country ways, will activate surviving cast members of The Andy Griffith Show to help combat the Bronx Bombers.

“I know it’s a bit of gamble,” Manuel said of his somewhat untraditional strategy. “Some of those guys haven’t played ball in a long time, but I know that Opie had a hell of an arm. I remember that episode where he threw a baseball clean through the neighbor’s window, which is a damn sight better than (Cole) Hamels can do right now.”

Manuel also said that the Pyle cousins, auto mechanics Goober and Gomer, would be available in the bullpen for the rest of the series.

“Those two couldn’t fix cars worth a pint of piss,” Manuel said. “But I heard they once combined on a two-hitter to shut down Mount Pilot. It’s a damn shame that Gomer went and joined the Marines. I understand he had a hell of a future as a closer.”

When pressed, Manuel indicated that he wishes he could bring in the now-deceased loveable town drunk Otis Campbell to replace slumping slugger Ryan Howard at first base.

“I think Otis could have been a real asset if he would have had a chance to go to rehab. I just saw the Griffith episode where Andy swore him in as a deputy, so that tells me he might have eventually been ready to step up to the plate, so to speak. But he probably would’ve  gone on a bender and locked himself in his jail cell before a game.”

Manuel did not hesitate when asked if there was one deceased cast member he wishes he could bring back, and it wouldn’t have been the comical Barney Fife, or even Andy himself.

“Aunt Bea,” Manuel quickly responded. “What a freakin’ hottie! She could bake my biscuits anytime.”